“Skip the bridge. Take the tunnel”

And now, a post from transportation reporter Eric Florip:

We’ve heard the calls for a third bridge over the Columbia River. The collector-distributor design. Even a sky tram.

Vancouver residents Jennifer Rego and Keith Mages have turned another idea into a business opportunity: They’re selling Columbia River Tunnel permits, complete with catchy slogan (“Skip the bridge. Take the tunnel.”)

They gave us the OK to post their copyrighted image, so we could share its awesomeness:

Of course, there isn’t actually a tunnel under the Columbia River. Think of it as an elaborate inside joke. And just in case you’re wondering, the folks behind the permit aren’t hoping the idea will catch on. Consider this not-so-subtle statement on the Columbia River Tunnel Permit website:

“No! No! No! Absolutely Not! We would never advocate for digging through the beautiful Columbia River. The sticker is a celebration of the beauty and splendor of the river and the gorge. Plus, if a tunnel actually existed, the sticker would lose its irony.”

Want in on the joke? A single bumper sticker will cost you $3.99. And if you feel like handing a few out during the next Interstate 5 Bridge lift (or you happen to have a fleet of cars at home, ahem, Commissioner Mielke), a “party pack” of 25 stickers costs $89.

We’re not so sure about the tunnel idea.

We’ll take the zip line.