Muppet theory

Slate Magazine ran a piece today that we thought couldn’t go without mention: The Muppet theory.

In it, writer Dahlia Lithwick posits that there are two types of Muppets: Chaos and Order.

In it, she says that there can’t be too many of each kind of Muppet in a closed body, or things go haywire.

Lithwick, who covers the U.S. Supreme Court, also assigns a few justices their category of Muppet.

To which we say: That is so 2011.

But we did love her theories, and descriptions, and think they actually match our assignments pretty well.

Among the Chaos Muppets: Animal, Gonzo, Cookie Monster, Ernie, Grover, Gonzo, Dr. Bunsen Honeydew, who “make their way through life in a swirling maelstrom of food crumbs, small flaming objects, and the letter C.”

Object A:


Order Muppets include Bert, Scooter, Sam the Eagle and Kermit the Frog. They “tend to be neurotic, highly regimented, averse to surprises and may sport monstrously large eyebrows. They sometimes resent the responsibility of the world weighing on their felt shoulders, but they secretly revel in the knowledge that they keep the show running.”

Object B:


Lithwick goes on to say that “Order Muppets do seem to attract the ladies, but then Chaos Muppets collect the chicken harems.”

We won’t say what our take on that is in relation to Leavitt and Mielke.

I will, however, with my backyard flock, confess to feeling closest in kin to the Chaos Muppets. Animal (wait till three minutes in)!!!

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