If you write it, they won’t listen

Regarded as one of the best family law attorneys around, Scott Horenstein gets paid a lot of money to give advice.

That doesn’t mean he’s receptive to receiving advice, even when he gets it free with his subscription to The Columbian.

In anticipation of Tuesday’s admissions tax hearing, I wrote a post with tips for anyone who planned to attend.

Tip No. 5: This last tip is a personal preference: Please no references to “Field of Dreams.” I will be live-Tweeting, and will invoke my right to refuse to quote anyone who says, “If you build it, they will come.”

I knew people would not be able to resist baseball references, and that’s OK. But the “If you build it, they will come” line has been played out.

Horenstein, chairman of the board of Identity Clark County, was the fifth of 41 speakers.

“Stephanie Rice in The Columbian this Sunday said she will refuse to quote anyone who reports a cliche today, such as, ‘If you build it, they will come,'” Horenstein told commissioners. “So I’m going to take the opportunity to quote something that she won’t quote me on: If you build it, they will come,” he said. “That’s pretty much a guarantee in this community.”

Temple Lentz of Vancouver, the 20th speaker, poked several holes in the proposal. She couldn’t resist playing off the cliche.

“What we do know is we’ve tried this before, with the event center, the county golf course and the Hilton,” Lentz said. “And we can’t make the payments on those, either. We did try to build it, and they didn’t come.”

Baseball terms came up often during the two hours of public testimony.

Stadium proponent Paul Kaza of Vancouver apologized unnecessarily because he wasn’t (I don’t think) quoting “Field of Dreams.”

“With all due respect to The Columbian, which I love, it’s time to take this moment and step up to the plate. I firmly believe the proposal is a winner,” Kaza said.

Kelly Parker, president of the Greater Vancouver Chamber of Commerce, told commissioners they can’t get a hit if they don’t swing the bat. Lee Rafferty of the Downtown Vancouver Association assured commissioners the proposal was in the “sweet spot.”

And the baseball terms didn’t go unnoticed by opponents.

Parker was followed by Stephanie Turlay, wife of Vancouver City Councilor-elect Bill Turlay.

“Everyone is talking about baseball pitches,” she said. “And I think this is a screwball idea.”

Opponents, of course, left the hearing room as winners.

I’ll leave you with quotes from “Bull Durham,” a Kevin Costner baseball movie I do like:

Crash Davis: It’s time to work on your interviews.

Ebby Calvin “Nuke” LaLoosh: My interviews? What do I gotta do?

Crash Davis: You’re gonna have to learn your clich├ęs. You’re gonna have to study them, you’re gonna have to know them. They’re your friends. Write this down: “We gotta play it one day at a time.”

Ebby Calvin “Nuke” LaLoosh: Got to play … it’s pretty boring.

Crash Davis: ‘Course it’s boring, that’s the point. Write it down.

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