Government Island

The Vancouver City Council’s daylong budget retreat is Friday. I am excited that it goes from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m… Not.

But, first on the agenda (after coffee) is a discussion on council norms, values and principles.

Yet several council members I’ve spoken with recently have mentioned they still don’t see the group as gelling well.

It’s a common problem. (See: high school). And, at no charge to the cash-strapped city, here are our top three ideas for getting those city councilors to bond:

• Trust Falls. If it worked in Mean Girls, it can work in Vancouver. Each member could catch their comrades as they fall backward — the ultimate sign of trust.

• Escape from Government Island. The city council is dropped on Government Island in the middle of the Columbia River with just each other and a rudimentary set of tools. They must make it back to City Hall in time for a meeting.

• Main Event. If all else fails, we lock them in Main Event, the sports bar downtown, with a fully stocked bar. They don’t come out until everyone is hugging, crying and sharing their sincere emotions.