Recap and How Much Weight I Gained

I’ve gotten some sleep and have stocked up with Lean Cuisines, fruit, vegetables, and Greek yogurt. Funny how my body seems to know the party is over; I was barely hungry yesterday.

Clark County Fair 2013 was as fun-filled, action-packed, sleep-depriving, and delicious as I hoped. But now it’s time to get back to real life and real food. Sigh.

As a final send-off to Summer’s Best Party 2013, here’s a little recap of some of my favorite highlights.

Best Nighttime Stage Performer Jerry Harris the Hypnotist. I think we saw five of his shows this year. The fun thing about hypnotism: it’s never the same show twice. Jerry rocks and I can’t wait to see him again next year.

Best Daytime Stage Performer:  Rhys Thomas of JuggleMania. This guy just makes me giggle. We saw his show twice and saw him lots of times wandering around the fairgrounds on stilts. In the second show we saw, he had to deal with a parentless heckler who was probably 10 years old and was frankly obnoxious. Rhys responded to him so appropriately and respectfully despite the kid really needing a good dose of discipline. The whole situation made me appreciate Rhys’s talent and stage experience even more.

Please check him out on his Facebook page.   As of this writing, Rhys has a measly 39 friends. Show him some love!  You can also find out some fascinating facts about him on his website. Like, for example, he was in a movie with Ricky Schroder from “Silver Spoons”!   That right there is totally worth a “Like” on Facebook.

Best Healthy Treat:  Greek salad at the Greek Cusina booth (purple octopus)

Best Artery-Clogging Treat: Deep Fried Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough from Sweet Cheeks

Great in Theory, Poor in Execution:  Apple Fries. I was so hopeful but they were so boring. I only had them once and never really saw anyone else eating them. If their space is available next year, it sure would be nice to see that chocolate-covered strawberry kabob place come back.

Best Fries: Curly Fries from Izzy’s BBQ

Most Surprisingly Good Hawaiian Shaved Ice Flavor:  Green Apple

Best Comeback:  The Demolition Derby!

Biggest Fail: CosPlay event, followed closely by my 10th place finish in the Open Class Llama Obstacles. At least I was entertaining.


Favorite New Food Discovery: Fried Chicken at the Lions booth followed closely by the Pastrami Sandwich at the Church Ladies Pie booth. These tasty treats have been at the Fair for years and yet I just discovered them this year. Better late than never!

Best New (to me) Restaurant in Vancouver to Try:  Patrick’s Hawaiian Cafe. Patrick’s was a new booth this year at the southwest corner of the food court. Rob and I both fell in love with their Teriyaki Chicken. So we were really excited when we discovered that Patrick actually has a real restaurant in East Vancouver that we can visit any ol’ time we want. Their menu looks big and delicious. Can’t wait to check them out soon!  See for yourself.

Biggest Unexpected Yawn:  The Fire and Height Dive Show. Although seeing a guy light himself on fire and dive into a pool of water is exciting, as a show there wasn’t much to it. I miss the Pirate Parrot Show. It was entertaining and educational. And longer than 20 minutes.

Most Disappointed I Didn’t See:  Mr. Wiggles. He is an ginormous bull that I saw last year. I heard too late that he was at the Fair again this year. So sad!   How can you not love a bull named Mr. Wiggles?


Hope They Come Back Even Though I Only Went There Once: Fresh fruit stand. It was nice to see there were some healthy snack options this year. I really hope they did well enough to return.

Hope They Come Back Because I Went There Almost Daily: Sweet Cheeks. Deep Fried Everything. They started to recognize me after the third day. Eric and I became buddies by the fifth day. I already miss them. But my hips don’t.


Most Often Asked Question: “Where did you get your bag?” The Fair Management People have done a great job marketing the Fair to big sponsors and such. But they are really missing an opportunity to sell all sorts of Fair swag to guests. I got my cinch sack last year. There was a printing vendor who was authorized to use the Fair logo. So one night on our way home, I bought the bag at Fred Meyers and had the printer put the logo on it the next day. Same with some t-shirts.

I must have had 20 people this year ask me where I got my bag. And one of the food booth vendors asked me where I got my t-shirt. She explained they had over 15 employees whom she would have loved to have wearing matching Fair shirts…both as a uniform and to show Fair spirit. And she was willing to pay for them.

So Fair Management People, if you are listening, please please please consider having a booth next year that sells all sorts of fun Clark County Fair gear. Hats, t-shirts, cinch-sacks, water bottles, sweatshirts, bandanas. You’ve got an eager market as far as I can tell.


Second Most Often Asked Question: “Do you work at the fair?” I got asked this question by food vendors who saw me repeatedly, as well as anyone who found out I went to the Fair every day.  I usually just answered, “No, I just love it here!”

Most Annoying Vendor: The people selling that maddening bird whistle for $1. I think that booth would be a great place for the new Fair Swag Booth instead.

Best New Addition to My Bookshelves: God bless eBay. (See “Rock U” post).



Fair By the Numbers aka The Weight Question

OK, so time for the grand finale. Here’s how the numbers shook out for Fair 2013:

  • Number of Pepto-Bismol consumed = 2
  • Number of Tums consumed = 4
  • Number of new zits appearing on my face = 4
  • Number of miles walked = 35.87 for an average of 3.6 miles per day
  • And….the number of pounds I gained from eating with abandon = 2.6

Yes, it should have been more. I credit a lot of walking and a body that rebelled for a few days in the beginning. As much fun as I had eating whatever I wanted, guilt-free, I am ready to return to my normal way of eating. It was fun but I feel sluggish and nauseous and just not right. I know from prior years that the detox process will take a few days and by this time next week I’ll be feeling much better. And I gotta say, knowing that I have the Fair to look forward to helps me stick to my self-imposed food rules the rest of the year. As one of my favorite sayings goes, “Everything in moderation…including moderation.”

Only 353 days until Fair 2014!

Toni Woodard

Toni Woodard

I am a Clark County Fair Fanatic and eat all things fried during the glorious 10 days of The Fair. I have lived in Clark County since 2004 and consider it the second-best decision of my life. I am married to a great guy named Rob (first-best decision) who graciously carries my stuff and takes my picture every time I eat something at The Fair. We have two indoor cats and lots of deer, rabbits, and coyotes who are kind enough to stay outside.

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