It happened. I thought I was beyond it, but there I was in my Exercise Technique class having flashbacks. Flashbacks of being the slowest, last, and fattest girl in PE class.
Flashback #1 Unable to easily sit on the ground, which as an morbidly obese person I couldn’t do either. So I had to grab a stability ball to sit on while the rest of the class sat comfortably on the ground in criss-cross applesauce position.
Flashback #2 As we are doing dynamic warm-ups across the length of the room I’m always one of the last to finish.
Flashback #3 When in small groups I tend to be the one in the group that others coddle.
My fitness level is the best it’s ever been — remember, I’m the girl who graduated high school at 300 lbs.? So where I am today is really good from where I came from. But since I’m rehabbing a fractured Tibia it makes for a difficult time with some exercises. As much as my heart and my mind say go, go, go. My body after seven months is just not quite ready. I’m sure it’s the reason I’m not able to perform at a higher level because I tell you — I so badly want to. Walking around campus and doing normal activities I manage to do just fine, but some exercises I’m still not able to give my all. It’s frustrating. I try not to allow demons in my head, but every once and a while they show up. Yesterday, they showed up and got the best of me. I only write about what I truly feel and yesterday I felt like the slowest, last, and fattest girl in PE class.