All Politics is Local

Parking Services’s bike is ready to conquer the mountains

Hey Vancouver Parking Services, can I borrow your bike this weekend?

No, don’t worry; you guys didn’t tow my truck because of too many parking tickets or anything. It’s just that your bike is really cool. I mean, damn, is that a full-suspension Norco Fluid 7.1 I see you guys rolling around on?

That’s a $2,275 bike. But because you’re a municipal body, I bet you got a great deal.

I wanted a bike like that for the last 10 years, but could only afford to buy one last October when I sold my grandma’s car—after she gave it to me, of course.

Oh man, I’m so excited for you guys. Anyone else, including the Seattle and Portland police departments, would have gotten a bike with just a front shock absorber and narrow, practically bald tires, but not you guys.

When you’re out patrolling the streets for expired meters between the hours of 9 a.m. and 6 p.m. you’re doing it with an adjustable 7-pivot point suspension—and that’s just the back of the bike! Up front those 4 inches of shock travel have got to be awesome when you’re dropping off a sidewalk. And seriously, who has time to mess with smooth street tires when you can roll around on knobby rubber meats and be stopped by hydraulic disk brakes?

Do you ever ride down stairs or use the fountain at Propstra Square as a freestyle rock garden?

I only ask because if bikes were like cars then you guys would be rolling around in a Jeep Wrangler Rubicon with a fully adjustable suspension when the equivalent of a Westward Go-4 would have been just as good.

Who can blame you for wanting a quality bike? If I would have been in your shoes I probably would have bought the same one—except I would have sprung for a dropper seatpost. Have you seen those things? They go up and down by themselves with the push of a button!

Sure, you could have done the job just as well with a $500 granny cruiser. But who wants to be caught dead on that? Not this guy. No way, bud. If we’re going to get out of Portland’s shadow we’re going to do it one sick mountain bike at a time, starting with the Norco Fluid 7.1.

That bike is designed to tackle some serious trails. Check out the video I attached. Not only is the guy in it riding some pretty technical stuff on a bike just like yours, but he’s doing it all to the Game of Thrones theme song.

[vimeo 89076588 w=500 h=281]

Norco Fluid 7.1 – 2014 from Lee Lau on Vimeo.

Real talk, though. With all their moving parts and rear shocks, full suspension bikes require more maintenance and are thus more expensive than their hardtail counterparts. But don’t worry, as you can tell the Norco Fluid is capable of taking punishment in the woods, so it should be able to handle whatever Vancouver sidewalks can dish out Monday through Friday.

I hope you have a lock for that thing.