I want to be better. Please don’t misinterpret that to mean that I’m NOT proud of myself for what I’ve accomplished and I’m NOT grateful for all that I have and all that I am.
I realize in order to be better, I have to give more of myself. I can’t stay in this safe place. I have to push myself out of my comfort zone. I repeat — I have to push myself out of my comfort zone. For me, motivation comes from within. And if I’m honest with myself I can give more. I can do better.
Yesterday, I posted some photos (see above) on Facebook that showed me jogging the hills of Mt.Tabor Park. The photos are of me at my best. Physically, I was in a really good place. I was training to run my first half-marathon. One week later, I was KNOCKED off my axis and hit by a car while walking in a parking lot. I suffered a broken tibia, had surgery to repair it and was left with 14 screws and a metal plate in my leg. I went through months of rehab and physical therapy. It was a very trying time for me. But, I made it through. I successfully rehabbed my fractured leg and did NOT gain one pound. Instead, I LOST 15 pounds the physical therapists and orthopedic doctors said that, that was unheard of. While I was able to successfully rehab my leg and lose weight while doing so. I feel like that accident did thwart my overall progress. It’s been nearly two years now. I don’t feel like I’ve been able to make the physical breakthroughs that I had hoped for. Partly some mental stuff going on (another blog post).
Anyhow, after I posted my photos a few of you made comments — I appreciate you all. My story is an open diary for you all to read. And, I realize sometimes I’m quite contradictory in my comments and my posts. One minute, I’m telling you to … and the next minute I’m ….
I want to be better. And, sometimes I get frustrated with myself. Right now, I’m frustrated with myself. I try not to speak negative thoughts because you know my theory on that, but sometimes I slip up.
I’m proud of and grateful for what I’ve accomplished it’s because of that — not in spite of that, that I know I can be better. Am I too hard on myself? Perhaps. Too honest? Never.
“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”