From Within
Once a miserable 388 pounds, I decided I loved myself enough to try. Try to be better. Be happier. Be healthier. And lose the weight. All the weight: emotional, spiritual, physical.
When you’re in a dark, cold space trapped under 388 pounds light seems non-existent. I traveled many dark, foggy tunnels before I saw a glimpse of light. I had a negative spirit, negative attitude, and a negative outlook. In the depths of darkness, however, there was some nagging voice within, telling me: I deserved more. I was worthy. I could be better. After sitting still with myself and some serious soul searching I was able to hear that voice loud and clear. The voice within instructed me to stop wallowing in my pity, put my thoughts to action, and create the life I envisioned for myself. The voice within gave me hope, courage, and belief. The voice is the very reason I was able to see my way out of the dark, foggy tunnel. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. Today, I stand in the light.
“We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts.”
Chrisetta Mosley
I am a product – and now a survivor – of childhood obesity. As a child, my family always told me that my extra weight was merely baby fat and I’d eventually grow out of it. I never did. Instead, my childhood is filled with memories of not being able to ride a bike, flattening its training wheels from being over the recommended weight, and avoiding P.E. classes by any means necessary. For years, I wore my fatness like a wounded soldier wears a Purple Heart - with pride. I owned the look. I dressed it up. I worked the room. There wasn't a skinny girl who intimidated me. I made sure my hair was laid just right. Nails polished. Outfits coordinated to the tee. Accessories to compliment every outfit. But everyone has a breaking point, and mine came in the spring of 2004 when I tipped the scale at nearly 400 pounds 388 to be exact. I was MISERABLE trapped inside of that body. I no longer wore my Purple Heart with pride. Rather, I was ashamed and frightened. Ashamed that I had allowed food to become my everything – frightened I would die because of it. Drastic times called for drastic measures... Today, I’m bound and determined to live a better, healthier, active lifestyle. I realize I’m no longer a passenger in my life, I’m the driver. I’m overcoming my inhibitions and I’m slowly but surely saying farewell to my old childhood nemesis, obesity. For once and for all, Farewell Fatso!