BREAKING NEWS: Additional Oregon football “penalties”
After a 28-month investigation the NCAA announced sanctions against the Oregon football program last Wednesday. I happen to agree with the majority that the penalties were too light given what they did, and feel there should be more penalties. So I’ve come up with a few. All of these sanctions will be for three years.
- Oregon will be required to play one non-conference game on the road each year at a school that ended the previous season ranked in the top 25.
- Oregon’s uniforms will be redone to look exactly like Penn State’s (using green and gold instead of navy and white) and they will only be allowed to wear two combinations of uniforms.
- For every touchdown, field goal or safety Oregon scores the Duck mascot will not be allowed to do push-ups for every point but must do a 10-second “plank” per point. A plank, for those of you not in the know, is when you take a push-up position and place your forearms down to the ground and hold yourself up (and use your abs to keep from falling).
- When Oregon is on offense they must either huddle for 10 seconds or allow the defense to complete all substitutions before the ball can be snapped.
- Instead of getting the ball on the 20-yard line on a touchback Oregon must start from the 10-yard line.
- Oregon fans will only be allowed to fill up half of Autzen Stadium for every home game. The other half of the stadium must contain non-Duck fans or be empty.
- All schools which currently wear Nike products will be allowed to void their contracts immediately and sign a contract with another company, or wear Nike products for free.
And finally, the biggest penalty of all….
- Oregon is only allowed to recruit athletes from countries outside of the United States.
You know, now that I think about it, I”m okay with the slap on the wrist they received… I don’t want any excuses from Oregon fans when the Ducks are knocked off of their current perch atop the conference.