Supporting Your Male Partner Through Infertility

Many couples struggle to conceive a baby, a challenge that leaves one or both feeling that they have failed their partner. It places an extraordinary strain on their relationship and is one of the primary causes of breakups and divorces.

While most people tend to focus on the female partner and her struggles, few focus on men and how infertility affects them. As each partner plays an equal role in conception, either could be the cause of infertility. Here is advice for supporting a male partner through infertility:

Discuss options

In a society where men are not encouraged to talk about emotions, a male might find it challenging to share his feelings. However, partners need to discuss their options. If you are in this position, finding fertility clinics near you where you can seek expert advice should be the first thing on your mind. IVF Authority provides a directory of fertility clinics so that couples can find one in their area.

Many fertility problems can be overcome due to cutting-edge technology and medical advances. Accepting that they have a problem and taking steps to seek potential resolutions is something that couples should do as a team. Most men prefer actions over words and are instinctive problem-solvers. Therefore, the idea of exploring alternatives will appeal to their nature.

Avoiding the blame game

When infertility enters a relationship, partners blame themselves for something beyond their control. Males look back at their behavior when they were younger and pinpoint where they went wrong and how this led to their infertility. While biological factors may contribute to infertility, many men who led identical lifestyles remain fertile, but others do not.

Delving into the past and wondering where they went wrong or what they should have done differently is not productive. Partners must remind each other to remain focused on the present and future. Bringing up the past or blaming each other for their current situation is a destructive path and could lead to the relationship collapsing.


Many men struggling with infertility will feel that their partner should leave them and find a ‘real man’ who can provide what they want: a baby. They feel emasculated by their perceived failure to reproduce. Reassurance is vital at this stage.

Men need to be reminded that their value extends beyond fertility. Partners can demonstrate this by offering encouragement and looking at the relationship beyond infertility. Relationships consist of more than reproduction and focusing on the other aspects, such as love, and companionship will offer a male reassurance that he is still wanted and needed.

Sharing the burden

The coming months will be difficult as partners undergo fertility treatment. It involves paperwork, embarrassing questions from medical professionals, and potentially invasive procedures. Feeling isolated during this time is overwhelming and might become too much for partners to bear.

However, confronting the situation together and taking each step as a team halves the burden and makes it easier to bear. Couples who stick together find enduring the stages of fertility treatment less traumatic as they can lean on each other when they feel despondent.

Useful distractions

Many couples become so obsessed with conceiving and the problems preventing it that they focus on nothing else. This unhealthy preoccupation could worsen the situation. Couples must continue with regular activities to remind themselves that there is meaning to life beyond their current troubles.

Females understand the men in their lives and what soothes them when they feel stressed. It could be a night out with friends, playing a round of golf, or a romantic weekend getaway. Changing up a routine by doing something entirely new together as a couple will provide both partners with some much-needed relaxation.


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