All Politics is Local

Tired of alt-right demonstrations, Portlanders will protest in Vancouver — with sex toys

Martin Connolly is coming to Vancouver to protest dildos using dildos.

Connolly, a resident of Portland, is organizing a political protest/pub crawl in Vancouver on Saturday (as reported earlier by the Portland Mercury). It’s intended to protest far-right groups whose frequent rallies in Portland that have devolved into violent clashes. His event will feature lots and lots of dildos with the aim of sending the message: stop sending dildos to Portland.

Connolly said he got the idea after reading about multiple alt-right demonstrations in Portland and decided it was time to send a message to groups like Vancouver-based Patriot Prayer that Portlanders are sick of their rallies.

“My first thought was, ‘screw you guys. I’m going to have my own protest with dildos and beer,’” said Connolly, who hasn’t been to a protest in years. “It was a silly thing, but it caught on.”

According to a website set up for the rally, it’ll start 2 p.m. on Saturday, Oct. 27, at Esther Short Park. From there, dildo-wielding protestors will march up to Tap Union Freehouse to have some beers before continuing the rally. The event could involve some telephone wires being adorned with dildos, according to the website.

The rally could include stops at Old Ivy Taproom, Trusty Brewing, Loowit Brewing and Beerded Brothers Brewing. But Connolly said Heathen Feral Brew Pub will not be on the itinerary because of its owner’s support for President Donald Trump.

“I don’t know if this is the best way to do this,” he said. “But I have to out-crazy the crazies.”

Describing downtown Vancouver as “awesome,” Connolly said that he’s not there to brawl. The event’s website states that if Antifa protestors or the Proud Boys show up to battle each other, the rally will just head to a brewery until it blows over.

Connolly said that he’s personally purchased four dozen dildos for the event, which he said are “amazingly cheap” at $1.66 each. He said that residents of Vancouver and Clark County are welcome and encouraged to bring their dildos.

“If I can leave Vancouver the same or better then we found it, I’ll walk away a happy person,” said Connolly.

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