Regular readers of APIL know we are fluent in sarcasm. With that in mind, we should make Vancouver Mayor Tim Leavitt an honorary meeting maven for his comments Monday evening to meeting regular and failed legislative candidate, Carolyn Crain. By “meeting regular,” I mean to say that, if the city hall chambers was the place Where Everybody Knows Your Name, Crain would be Norm.
(Note: We should make Leavitt an honorary maven. We won’t.)
After Crain took the council to task during the citizen comment period for an earlier procedural misstep (an item publicized as a public hearing was moved to the consent agenda, and people who showed to testify were told they couldn’t, and there will still be a hearing so life goes on), Leavitt told Crain, “it’s rather fortuitous, Ms. Crain, that you’re here tonight.” (I think instead of “fortuitous,” which means accidental luck, he meant to say, “predictable.”)
“I’ve been meaning to give you this document for such a long time,” Leavitt told her. “You have such a keen interest with city matters. I want to make sure we have the right contact information for you.” He looked at a comment card she’d filled out, and asked if the 503 area code was accurate. She said that’s her cell phone.
“Is your address still outside the city limits?” Leavitt asked.
“Five blocks,” she said.
“Do you have an interest in coming inside the city limits?” Leavitt asked.
Crain said she can’t leave her neighborhood without going through the city. “How’s that for you?” she asked.
“Well,” Leavitt said, “I asked staff to print off the notice of intent to commence annexation so that if you would like to come within city limits so that you can vote for us.”
“So I can pay your bills, more of your bills?” Crain replied.
“Well, I just thought you’re paying so much close attention to what we’re doing, you might want to actually be able to vote for us,” Leavitt said. “OK, I have this here for you if you would like it.”
“I would like to have it,” Crain said. “Thank you.”
History tells me neither one was being sincere. After all, Crain, also a regular at the Board of Clark County Commissioners meetings, told commishes in May 2011 that she didn’t like that the commissioners were pushed around by Leavitt on the C-Tran board. At the time, she said she didn’t like it when Leavitt pointed out at city council meetings that she doesn’t live in the city. She shops in the city, she said. She drives on city streets. Isn’t that enough? Does she really need to be treated as, in her words, “the bastard child of the community?”
“I’m your child,” she told commissioners in 2011. “I want you to be the tough guys.”
I doubt she wants to trade Mielke and Madore in for Leavitt, but you can watch Leavitt’s offer: